I am able to work remotely from our home which means that we spend a lot of time together. This is both a blessing (and only sometimes) problematic. But usually it's great. My family loves her, her family likes me (from the little communication we can muster with our language differences).
We have now been together almost 3 years and it looks like we are only 1.5 years until we can start achieving our dreams. During this time, I have progressed my career and now make about $100,000 per year (2.5x the amount when we first met). I am also taking MBA classes to fortify my business background and credentials. I am saving all that I can so we can move into a beautiful house when we are finished our studies.
She has always been faithful to me... until 9 months ago. She met some guy at an event and they had a 1 night stand. I knew she went out with someone but I did not learn until recently that she actually cheated on me. We talked about it (when I thought it was just a friendly "date") and expressed my concerns and disapproval. All was well again.
Then a few months later (about 6 months ago) we had to part for a time since she had to work elsewhere meaning we usually got together on the weekends when we were free.
Recently I discovered that she cheated on me with the first guy and even met up with him a few times after that. Additionally, she met some black guy, thought he was cute, and cheated on me again several times... all during that period when we were working apart from one another. She still exchanges emails with both, and appears to want to "be" with one of them. She discloses that she doesn't love me in the emails but I'm a nice supportive guy etc etc. Super. And of course, since he is black, sex just isn't the same with me. Nice. Strange from someone who admitted to me that she was racist. He also smokes, which she absolutely can't stand.
After spending romantic birthdays with her I am devastated to find her emailing the guy that the entire night, and the birthday wish, she wanted him, not me.
She does not know that I am aware of any of this.
Recently she has been putting up an amazing front, we've had a great time. Going out, gifts, etc, etc. Each time I think she will be ending it with the other guy but the emails seem to be consistently "lovey-dovey".
Originally I came because I needed to know if she was going to be my wife. Still young, I had to invest the time before making such a big decision.
I must stay here for 18 more months but I'm wondering what I should do. Should I let the "fling" pass... or confront her? I'm thinking I should wait until she makes a mistake that reveals her indiscretions (reading her emails certainly wouldn't be taken favorably). Or should I just wait it out for the time being since we still get along well then tell her when it's time to go why she won't be coming with me.
Thanks for ruining our beautiful dreams. I know we both want it and we certainly could have it but your actions exploded everything into 1 million silent pieces.
I'm sorry I will have to hurt you one day. I never wanted that. But I have no choice. Luckily, today is not that day.
Advice or comments are very welcomed and encouraged!!!
